Fold In Your Hands
by Euregatto
Summary: Even when there's nothing left, find something to hold on to. Renji x Jackie


**For the Renji x Jackie FC. Experimenting with the pairing in my writing, so it's honestly not the greatest thing I could have done...**

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><p>My pencil moved almost automatically in my grasp, etching my signature into the paper's thin fibers as my mind numbly absorbed all the information splayed out before me. Finally finished with the day's work I exhaled with sheer relief and raked my fingers through my blazing hair.<p>

Outside the sun was melting behind the horizon, casting a blanket of warm colors across the Seireitei like fireworks. I pushed my chair out abruptly and stretched. It had been a busy two days since the whole meltdown with the Fullbringers; I wasn't in the least bit concerned with attending their funerals or whatever Ichigo had planned out for them… but I was annoyed because Byakuya had whipped me into shape for showing mercy on that woman.

It's not my fault, I saw no need to kill her.

Hitsugaya-Taiichou had spared that boy, Yukio, but he was destroyed by those monsters of his. Zaraki-Taiichou went straight for the kill on that old geezer Giriko. Rukia had swiftly taken down Riruka but left her with a pulse… It wasn't enough to save her. The Tsukishima creep was taken apart by Kuchiki-Taiichou, no surprise there, and as for Ginjou…

"Renji?"

…he's gone. _But that woman…_

"Renji?"

Realizing the voice belonged to animal-activist Rukia, I trekked over to the office door and slid it open. "Hey, Rukia!"

Irritated purple voices glared up at me before softening, "She's awake." _But that woman is here… I had to help her. _"She tried to attack some of the squad members upon opening her eyes, but due to her wounds she only managed to swing a punch before Unohana-Taiichou sedated her."

"I don't doubt it," I avowed, wagging my head, "You came at the perfect time, too. I finally completed my work! Wanna get a drink or something?"

She rolled her eyes, "Don't even think about it." We fell silent for a moment. "She… was screaming some nonsense about you. You might want to settle some of this before another storm brews. It's bad enough the Central 46 didn't execute her, but now she's trying to kill us."

"What do I care?" I retorted with a feigned disinterest.

"You tried to save her and she almost died trying to save you. Renji, you aren't fooling everyone." She glanced over her shoulder like she was afraid of someone listening in on our conversation. "If you ask me…" Her elbow prodded my side, "It was love at first sight~"

I flushed, "I'm not going to react because I know that's _exactly_ what you want."

"You don't deny it."

I stormed out, "I refuse to be reprimanded! I will _not_ respond!" We ventured down to the fourth division barracks, "Do they at least know her name?"

"Jackie Tristan," Rukia replied matter-of-factly. We passed through the doors and down the halls until Rukia pointed out Jackie's room. Instantly we were greeted by a chorus of shouts from inside—from the sounds of it there were three squad members—followed by an abrupt _BANG! _"And it seems the sedative was too good to last…"

"I SAID LET ME GO!"

"You're in no condition to be going anywhere!"

"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! LET GO! YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

"Then stop thrashing!"

"I think I'd better handle this one," I remarked over a sigh, sliding the divider open. Jackie was a mess—her upper half was wrapped in bloodied bandages along with her left arm and neck, which I deemed unsafe but if Unohana had issued the order then I had no complaints. She was being pinned to the bed by the trio of members; given her injuries, they had the upper hand. "Jeez, it's a zoo in here! I can hear you from my office!"

At the sight of the lieutenant having made his grand entrance the subordinates whirled around and bowed, in chorus reciting, "Good Afternoon, Abarai-Fukutaiichou!"

Jackie stared at me incredulously for a moment before sweeping her hair behind her ear. She had calmed, but seemed uncomfortable. I had brought her to Soul Society to be healed from her mortal wounds after that explosion… what if it was a bad idea on my part?

_I just… couldn't let her die…_

"Do me a favor and leave us alone for a few minutes." I jabbed my finger to the open door where Rukia was standing just outside the threshold. They filed out without a complaint. Rukia winked to me before sliding the door closed. When her footfalls faded I shuffled over to Jackie's bed and sat down on the edge, "I thought I lost you for a moment there."

"What do you care?" She hissed, turning away from me, "You don't even know who I am."

"Jackie Tristan. And of course I care, otherwise I wouldn't have tried to save your life… twice."

She crossed her arms over her bandaged chest. "That explosion was supposed to kill me. I am nothing… I never was. No one has ever wanted me, no one has ever liked me, no one even _cares_ about me! Why didn't you just kill me?"

I frowned, picking the jar of herbal medication up from the table beside me. "What's this for?" I asked, hoping to delude her from the current topic.

"They were just trying to give me some," she undid the wrap on her arm, unwinding it until it reached her shoulder, "It hurts… Can you… do it for me?" I flinched at the sight before me. A majority of her flesh was singed and raw, the only healthy parts already scarred over from two days of recovery.

At first I concluded that she subconsciously figured I wouldn't hurt her. Then, I sighed. "OK." I gently took her hand into mine, her fingers curling to get a grip on me. Using my free hand I unscrewed the cap to the jar, dipping my fingers into the mint solution. It burned my own skin to the touch. "This is going to hurt."

She bit her lower lip, left hand fisting a portion of my sleeve. Carefully I applied the gel to her burns—she screamed, caught herself, and instantly started to cry. "I'm sorry," I uttered, my hand suffocating in her vice grip, "Don't' scream, it'll be over quickly." The medicine was powerful, though; it sizzled against her wounds. Finally I slathered the ointment across her shoulder, "There. Feeling better?"

"Once you finish," she whimpered, removing the bandages from around her chest. I froze for a moment, fighting back a reaction. Her sternum was marked terribly as well, but it ended half-way up her neck and just above her breasts, which had fallen out. Other, faint scars crossed her caramel skin and a single, massive one trailed down the centerfold of her figure, disappearing beneath her sheet. This time when I went to apply the gel my hand was shaking. She flushed, "I'm ugly, I know."

_What the hell happened to her? _"You're not ugly," I scolded, "Don't beat yourself up. The scars will heal in no time."

She sobbed as the solution stung her like lemon juice. Although, I do believe the lemon juice would have hurt less than this stuff… My hand traveled a little too low for comfort and I reeled back, afraid to startle her, "S-Sorry."

"No, no," she wagged her head, "It's alright. It's not like you're touching a model or anything."

Everything she said was like a stake to my heart. "Stop." I smeared the gel along her crisp collar bone, "There's nothing wrong with you." She bit back another cry, grip tightening again. "You're beautiful, Jackie, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"If I didn't know any better," she smirked broadly, "I'd say you're flirting with me, Abarai."

My face ignited like fire. I capped the jar and turned away, stifling a nervous cough. As if things couldn't get any worse, Rukia decided to casually walk in—a devious grin split open her face. "Now what do we have here? Do I perhaps need to leave, Renji?"

Jackie and I exchanged awkward glances—first of all she was still half naked, and to top if all off she was still constricting my hand. Realizing how weird this seemed all together I freed my hand from the grasp and she covered herself with the sheet.

"This isn't what it looks like!" I exclaimed, waving my hands wildly about.

Rukia backed out the door, "I'll go see what Nii-sama is up to!"

"Don't you dare-!"

"I can't wait to see the expression on his face when he hears this one!"

"This is Byakuya we're talking about!" I snapped as she bolted off, "HE'LL BE EXPRESSIONLESS! **RUKIA**!" Giving up, I exhaled a shallow breath and jumped up, slamming the door shut. I returned to Jackie to wrap her up in fresh bandages from the counter across the room.

As I finished winding her wrist she muttered, "Renji… Why are you so kind?"

I quirked an eyebrow, "Why does it matter? I don't see any point in being a jackass."

"I'm just not used to it," she admitted quietly, almost to herself, "I've never… had anyone to care about me like you do. No one was ever willing to sacrifice everything to save me. I was always weak; ugly in other's eyes…" I didn't respond—I couldn't. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," I sealed the bandage at its break, "Just get some rest."

She gazed up at me with tear-glazed hazel voids, "I… I have nothing left—I never had anything, the Xcution was all I knew… and now…" She was on the verge of breaking, and the most crushing part about it was that I couldn't do anything to help her.

"Jackie…" I brushed a wisp of hair from her face, my finger tips skimming her forehead, "There's always something to hang on to; you just have to find it."

She guided my hand to her cheek, cupping her caramel skin, "Can you stay with me a little longer? Please?"

_I saved her because I… _"OK," I said breathlessly after a beat, "I'll stay." _I saved her because I saw she was hurting…_

And if she really didn't have anything left, then I was willing to give her something worth hanging on to.


End file.
